After putting it off for years, I finally got our septic tank pumped out. It felt a bit like it does when you reach an age when it might be a good idea to undergo some mildly invasive medical test. After all, it’s a relatively painless exercise that will either provide reassurance or spur you to some form of self-preservative action. I’d decided not to tempt fate any longer. I set to work with a shovel, occasionally using a length of steel rebar for exploratory probing, and before long...